Music ! ♥

desperate weeks

like what I've said in the previous entry..
I'm dead broke..
broke until I have to buy bread and eat everyday..
dinner-go-dearie's-hse-eat broke..

Why I go torture myself this month?
maybe I should really really watch how I spend..
maybe I should spend it on slimming down instead..

last fri was IRAS Day..
there was musical, "ban jiang dian li" and phototaking..
the nicest one has to be phototaking..
cos we can take as many as we want and then got it printed into credit card size..
for free?
I think IRAS pay the photographer and for the inks for all those cards..

musical was really funny lo..
haha..
we were like luffing all the way thru in our office when it was "broadcasted" live from the Multi-purpose Hall..
ya.. because it cant accommodate all IRAS staff..
and there are actually people who work at IRAS for 45 yrs!
cool right?

then this week Thurs and Fri are IRAS Active day..
Missed the aerobics and muay thai..
but I tried Archery!
damned nice lo..
can train my flabby arms..

anyway,
I notice that when I'm fat..
I'll get depressed..
damned depressed even though I really try my best to do something to cheer myself up..
what really bring new depth to my depression is my cholestrol checkup provided by IRAS..
even though my BMI is considered borderline..
I'm not satisfied with my waist measurement and my weight..
cos over 2yrs i've increased my weight to almost 10kg and my waist to almost 5inches..
even though I've grown abt 1cm (does it really matter since the difference is only that much?)
it's like a knock on my head saying that if I dont exercise,
not only my body will complain (keep having muscle-aches)
my depression will get more serious..
the only time when I got really happy is when 'm so damned slim..
so I must make sure I always have that to make myself happy..
I'm too self-conscious...
I admit that as a mistake..

I'd better get over whatever stupid things that're going ard my head..
I'm getting to depressed to think anything straight..
or rather..
I'm starting to think that the world is against me!
nothing of such sort of course..
I'm just dumb in any way possible..
I seriously need to do something about my body
otherwise the picture that are going to be my blog will be like dragging forever..
yup..
think i should put my pic for a change..
n hopufully I dont change anything anymore in the layout..

been window shopping online..
so tempted to buy those clothes and bags..
I'm so gonna get the online banking thing from DBS..
and then change my POSB ATM card to debit card..
n I should be able to start paying my debt to my uncle and auntie from Nov..
I've got so many things to do..
just as what I've always tot of myself: I'm never gonna be satisfied in my life..
I just keep wanting more..
not appreciative, not grateful..
at least ppl help me I am so damned grateful..

went to Sakura buffet restaurant at Downtown East..
at least it is so much better than those in Family Buffet restaurant in Tampines Mall..
variety is good..
or maybe that time I dont feel like eating bah..
cos broke&depressed..
n I dunno what to do to myself..
n that's the worst part..

then yesterday went to Expo for book fair and furniture fair..
went to see the furniture fair..
gimme so much space for creativity!
I always believe that designers should go ard the world to see anything that's worth seeing..
because the creativity juices just keeps coming after the trip..
hehe..

alright..
enough said..
dunno what to do myself again..
till the next time~~~~~~~~

Joelle`*