Music ! ♥

FYP nightmare's over.....after effect is taking place~

finally
the much anticipated FYP presentation is over
n we were quite excited about it when it is about to end..
but after the 1hr preparations, I realised that my anticipation went down the drain

this is not the ending I want..
I want it to be a nice, fulfilling and comforting ending
telling me that I've worked hard enough for this sem and my product is good enough for FYP..
but thats not the case..
everything's screwed..
functions that has been working for fews months just told my evaluator, supervisor, moderator and fellow members that it is not working..
needless to say,
even the presentation is screwed..
everything's screwed..
even if we get to pass
the passing rate is D or C..
and thats not what i want..

i dunno wad Mr. Liew and Mrs Fang is gonna give us..
but seriously
the team is down..
if there is a SIP on the FYP..
I'm not sure if I wanna take..
cos I'm so afraid that everthing will repeat itself again..
n these are tedious..
it has pushed me to depression
n its not a figure of speech..
it's the real depression thingy u saw in those advertisement..
I've been kinda crying non-stop the moment I got to dearie's house..
this is too much to take..
my effort..my confidence in the product..everything~
just kinda went down the drain
luckily dearie n mum has been supportive.
n Lindy n gang~
if not I surely cry like there's no tomorrow..

straight after the presentation
I kinda went straight to dearie's house..
the bus seems to take years to come..
n while I've been trying to hold my tears at TP bus stop
I kept distracting myself by asking myself when the bus's going to come..
n even the thought of having a moderator in the presentation is flattering
but I just feel really sorry that our group did not present the best we could..
the disappointment in every lecturers' faces..
seriously, at that pt I really wish that I can just hide my whole face in the photocopy machine
anyway,
back to the bus
so I went to dearie's house..
the moment I'm in his room..
I cried and cried..
n he's just there to hold n comfort me..
I cried cos my effort has gone down the drain..
because there's no 2nd chance to present again..
after that I slpt through like 6 hrs from 3.30pm
I slptalk in case u din know abt it..
n I was scolding "asshole" during my slp
am I that "xiang bu kai"?
n sadly, after I wake up
I resume my crying session..
thats the first time I'm going to cry so hard for school work..
n I believe there's more to come in the future..

I really try to "xiang kai" a bit..
but really hard lah..
I cant seem to have appetite
n i've been putting a strong front..
saying that i can take what is going on
but the fact is i cant..
maybe the exams will just kinda distract me from thinking abt it
but its really hard to really forget abt it..
i think I'll blame myself for some years..
but if given a chance
I'll try my very best to create a new Seng Kang CC LAN project..
N I mean what I say..
to cover this empty feeling of achievement that I'm having
n maybe I'll live happier..

anyway, its like over..
enough of it
tml is my start of revision..
make the best out of it..
take care..
ciaoz~

PS: Ms Joey wanted to announce that her 21st birthday is on October~muahahahahahahaha~ 6 days before SIP briefing! count it urself!

Joelle`*