Music ! ♥

time is flying past me~

what will you do when nothing is under your control?
what will you do when determination just doesnt work as hard as it used to be?
Am I just running away or am I just unable to face it?

I'm gonna have a major breakdown soon..
n ever since a yr ago
I'm not the whiny type
however
I'm at my lowest
n maybe term test is gonna make it worse

if u were to ask me what I've done thruout this whole term
I can tell u
n/a
I've nv done anything
n I guess I'm getting my grp mates worried
making an effort to go school isnt hard
but from what I see
I cant even be bothered to go anywhere
dont ask me wad I did when I din go sch
I did nothing
just stone..
n wait for things crashing down on me

a waste of time?
possibly
I dun have the strength to lift a finger
n I'm not sure when my nightmare is over
but I wanna make sure before the term break ends..
I must end my nightmare
I feel like rubbish
cant do anything
cant say anything

tuesday..
I went to 20CenturyFashion only
there's a test
but in the end we bring the test home

Wed..
I din go to school
decided to skip CMSK
but in the end I cant wake up for both lab n tut
so..
din go
went to town
bought something
then meet Dear..
had the most tiring time of my life
in the end I couldnt get wad I want
so I went to c doc
got a 2days mc
so Thurs nv go school

Thurs
1st of Dec
our 1st month
we went to...
Toni Romas n eat
then catch Chicken Little and Saw II
both were great shows
Saw nv fail to satisfy me

Fri..
I overslpt again
the whole lessons are all over by the time I woke up
I ended up rushing a vcd series
n completed it b4 3pm on Sun
went to Dear's hse n spent my night
he had to work
so he fell aslp
I watch my series
until 3am
when he's leaving for work
I couldnt get up
so I end up spending my whole day there
playing with Bibi
n watching the series
then have to go Jessica's hse n celebrate her b'dae
then went home at 12mn with my family
Dear were present too

Sun
woke up quite early
was preparing to print out all notes and tut and lab sheets
my sis's internet connection is down!
den I ended up not doing anything at all
not at all

this morning
was checking out my term test thingy
wth?
2 on each day?
now I'm thinking how I'm gonna manage it
cos obviously I'm going to be screwed by this

I'm still struggling to come to school
n every morning my head will hurt
eyes will be blurred
n Doc say its due to stress
my stress is
how am I gonna overcome this has-always-been-there stress

of all people
Alan is the most ke-lian
I've been throwing tantrums
n he take it as it is
in fact
we rarely kiss or hug liaoz
I'm like rejecting everything
including myself
wtf is going on within me?
I dont wanna go counselling again
like what happened to me in the past
I'm starting to miss Dear again

y am I so pessimistic?
nvm
lets say something nice
Joey is back
she bought me a nice cap(or beret?I'm not sure wad u call it)
anyway
it's nice..
can be adjust
I guess I'll look more chic bah
:x
glad she's back

now I'm eating hello panda strawberry
n I hope it does make me feel better
cos it's already my 2nd packet
all the best to myself
I hope rejecting program is over soon
take care guys

Joelle`*