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Wednesday, November 16, 2005 Y
stress level is exceptionally high

I guess I'm sick again
psychologically
this happened b4
my rejection for school
it is happening this week

I woke up pretty early today
cos I have class at 8am
but I'm not feeling tired
I just..
I was having headache
the attack came
just overwhelmed me
n almost left me crying

the attack I was talking abt
it's some kind of psychologically problem I have
it's only when stress level is exceptionally high
then such attack will occur
it started when I was just a primary school kid
n as u can c
I was always late
cept for the last 2years
then at secondary school
it grew worse
I just skipped school
it went on for 6yrs
my attack was so severe that I can just wake up in the middle of the night
roaming ard the hse aimlessly
doing what I tot at some pt of time I was supposed to do
n unless someone correct me
I can just go on
but luckily this situation has never went to any other parts other than my hse

how the attack work?
first..u'll hear lotsa people quarrelling
in really loud voices
n u cant c them
then
everything starts to go slow
even the voice
everywhere ard u was just slow enough
if i'm lucky enough
someone will help me stop the attack
if not
it can go on as long as it can be
this thing lasted for 14 yrs I guess

so this morning
I had this attack
I was lying on my bed
trying to conquer it
at abt 7.30
Joey called
ask me to wake up
yeah
she helped stopped the attack
but soon after that
severe headache
head was spinning
she persuaded me not to skip lesson
I really wanted to go like wad she've said
I was half-determined
so when I came back to the room after wash up
headache again
then at that pt of time I really nid to cut myself in order to divert the pain
but i din
I couldnt imagine the fact that when Dear came back today after camp
his face will just go blank
I really struggled..
n I'm about to break down soon
I just feel like crying..
do anything to hurt myself
at least I wun feel this worse

thanks Joey for ur support
but I'm not determined enough
to conquer myself
thanks to Brian for his unexpected sms
he really cheer me up
oh ya..thanks to Desmond
who smsed me like couple of days ago
abt y I din go lecture
thanks guys
it's really nice having u ard
n vancelyn abt her encouragement in the tag

I gtg le..
bye..

Joelle`*


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This is me ♥
Name ♥ Joelle Goh Koon Ling
Age ♥ 22
D.O.B. ♥ Oct 10
Horoscope ♥ libra
Status ♥ Attached
MSN/Email ♥ plainbabe@hotmail.com
 
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My Preference ♥

music
drawing
fashion
make-ups
movies
shopping
friends
dancing
purple
animes
cycling
playing volleyball
doing plastic models
chilling out
the beach
canon in d
dogs
retail therapy
gaming

My Dislikes ♥

cheaters
bugs
facial problems
smokers
toys
lose money
feeling useless
feeling depressed
medication
people who ruin my day
no $$
misplace my stuff

My Wish List ♥

go perm hair
get a degree in design/art
BoA's 1st compilation album: K-pop Selection
F.I.R.'s fei xing bu luo album
complete my current course
mountain bike
bio-essence eye and face lift
close up my nose pores
go for braces
CLOTHES!BAGS!SHOES!
go slim down till waist reach 24inches
$$$
a lappy
W880i
move out
go replenish make-ups

 
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My loves ♥

RraChh.
Sista.
Michiko.
Shereen.
Zhizhen.
Foods that heal.
LoveDiary.
Stickgal.
Vancelyn.
 
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Listen up ♥


98 Degrees - Because of You

You're my sunshine after the rain
You're the cure against my fear and my pain
'Cause I'm losing my mind when you're not around
It's all (It's all)
It's all because of you
You're my sunshine, oh yeah

Baby I really know by now
Since we met that day
You showed me the way
I felt it then
you gave me love, I can't describe
How much I feel for you
I said baby I should have known by now
Should have been right there
whenever you gave me love
And if only you were here
I'd tell you, yes I'd tell you (oh yeah)

[Chorus]

Honestly could it be you and me
Like it was before neither less or more
'Cause when I close my eyes at night
I realize that no one else could ever take your place
I still can feel and it's so unreal
When you're touching me, kisses endlessly
It's just a place in the sun where our love's begun
I miss you, yes I miss you baby, oh yeah

[Chorus]

If I knew how to tell you what's on my mind
(Make you understand)
The I'd always be there right by your side

[Chorus]

You're my sunshine
You're my sunshine
Oh yeah

 
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Arigatou ♥

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